Britain is reeling from the discovery of 51 anonymous illegal immigrants who were not granted the appropriate welcome to the British Isles a thousand years ago.
The police said they were saddened by the discovery of the beheaded victims but that it was not their fault. Social Services promised an in-depth review. 'Lessons must be learned', said a spokesperson.
A local who was heard to say they were 'a lot of bloodthirsty Vikings who got what was coming to them' has been arrested and will appear in court to answer charges of racism and hate speech.
Prime Minister Gordon Brown is scheduled to broadcast an apology to Norway and Denmark for this further evidence of the deep-seated xenophobia that makes him hate the English so much.