19 June 2010

What's an 'organic pig'?

The only things the mainstream British press do well are voyeurism and gossip. For the Mail, the story of Caroline Nokes, MP, and her young boyfriend is the gift that keeps on giving.

Nokes is one of the 'A' list handpicked by Tory Central Office to fight the last election. A former chief executive of the National Pony Society, she has been married to Marc for 15 years, has an 11-year-old daughter, dogs, a cat and four free-range organic pigs.

Earlier this year, she signed a pledge in Westminster to 'act according to Christian conscience', and includes the statement: 'We pledge to support marriage - the lifelong covenantal union of one man and one woman as husband and wife. We believe it is divinely ordained, the only context for sexual intercourse.'

Her boyfriend, James Dinsdale, is a Tory councillor for Bury St Edmunds. He is also married. His studly credentials are questioned, however, by a previous lover.
This week, it emerged that he also had an affair with a Tory activist who goes by the colourful name of Anastasia Beaumont-Bott. Last night, she spoke of her relationship with Dinsdale - and insisted that such was her disillusionment with men after their affair that she is now a lesbian.
In other news, the Tory MP for St Mary Mead Bury St Edmunds (there it is again) jumped in front of a train, but was neither bisected by the wheels nor electrocuted. He had been the Shadow Minister for Policing until the last election, but lost out in the coalition carve-up.

As Miss Marple put it: 'In an English village, you turn over a stone, and you have no idea what will crawl out.'


  1. I would like to raise a really serious rhetorical question, Do the Tories really think that they can compete with the Republican politics in South Carolina?

    Unlikely as it may seem (to whomever), they may be basing their sexual performances on the South Carolina polls showing misbehaviour as a sign of political liveliness. Look at Nikki Haley's run for governor.

    Although I am a subject of the Queen now, I cannot refrain from feeling some remnant of American pride. Once again, we have led the way.

  2. Pah! It's all penny-ante stuff by comparison with the technicolour scandals that illuminated French politics before that prude De Gaulle spoiled all the fun. Hard to beat President Felix Faure dying in 1899 on the job with his mistress in his Elysee office.