From The Onion - many a true word

WASHINGTON—According to the results of an intensive two-year study, Americans living below the poverty line are "pretty much fucked," Center for Social and Economic Research executive director Jameson Park announced Monday.

Although poor people have never had it particularly sweet, America has long been considered the land of opportunity, where upward class mobility is hard work's reward. However, our study shows that limited access to quality education and a shortage of employment opportunities in depressed areas all but ensure that, once fucked, an individual tends to stay fucked.

According to U.S. Census Bureau statistics, 34.6 million Americans were living below the poverty line in 2002.

Not only are the down-and-out fucked, but the number of down-and-out fucks is growing. Conditions of disadvantage are often passed from one generation to the next, making it especially difficult for young people to emerge from the cycle of poverty.

"Man, my heart goes out to those poor fuckers," Park added.